Crude....

this is way personal... and i may regret putting this out there....but...im not really a prude or embarrassed by things like this....
I cant feel my vagina. what in the flying fuck? i cant feel when i poop. toilet paper feels like sand paper. my ass hurts. like literally hurts. feels like ive done 500 squats or something. everything feels swollen to my touch even tho it is normal looking. washing my hands feels like im scrubbing with sand. what. the. fuck. thats pretty much all i can think.  what in the fuck?  what did i do to deserve this? what will make this go away??????
Laying down and being completely still is the only thing that makes me feel kinda normal.
I went to work...went and bought a cane...cried in the middle of walgreens doing so...went to publix for a few things and came home and i feel like ive been awake for years. im soo damn tired. i just want to lay down and not move for days. It took all I had in me to get inside and put the cold stuff away. I left the rest on the island and came straight to bed. This is so out of character for me to feel soooo overwhelmingly shitty, its fucking with my pride.

im too damn tired to capitalize what im typing. fucking sickening.

tonight nate is going to practice. im going to get froyo with dylan and my bff...normalcy. normalcy is all i fucking want in life right now. i feel like a damn fatass burden....

ugh.

Fuck MS. And a HUGE FUCK YOU to those who are ignorant to this disease.
I couldnt make this shit up if I even tried.

Im a freak of nature.

I have an awesome life to live....this shit needs to go away. Now.

Ill live with lego feet and even numb legs...the rest needs to go.

...going to sleep before i get him from school and ruin his day by sucking and being a shell of his mom.