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So, I called my neuro this morning to see if they could get me in sooner than Thursday. nope. Go to ER as instructed...if I wasn't a paranoid freak I wouldn't have went. Im just not down with the whole not being able to feel myself breathe nonsense. Blah blah blah happens. I do get a sonogram on this awesome knot that appeared on my calf muscle...kinda weird. She wanted to check for clots since its on the same leg that mysteriously started hurting and makes me walk like a pirate...spasticity im guessing??  any help from any of you would be supreme at this moment. Basically Im in a hard core flare. pretty much sitting on the face of the sun. i didnt realize that shit could turn so south in a mere 12 hours. I literally went to bed friday 85% normal...woke up like this. Whatever this is.
I reallly cant stress on how much I need people that have this disease in my life. I need to know whats normal and what isnt.
(im laying in bed on our tablet so sorry if my grammar is incorrect...too tired to fix it honestly.)

Current symptoms:
Complete numbness from collar bone down. Abdomen(rib cage to bellybutton) seem to be the most "deep"numbness.Cant feel hunger, cant feel touch whatsoever.
If I touch any part of me it just seems to bother it worse. I feel gigantic. Like...I have a potbelly or something. My clothes feel huge though, and I cant tell how theyre sitting on me unless I look in the mirror. So weird. Every single fucking step I take seems to radiate some sort of Lhermittes, but multiplied by 3849438. Its nothing Ive ever felt before and Lhermittes is a symptom Ive had for about 2 years straight. My feet feel like lego peoples feet. Square blocks that suck. My right leg has begun to fuck up. If I flex my feet at the ankles it feels like theyre overly tight. Right inner thigh seems it doesnt want to relax,therefore i walk like a damn idiot. Its like I have to make it bend to step or something. And lastly, I think anyhow.. I seriously feel crazy even typing this shit out,but whatthefuckever, I have little bitty sore places Everywhere. Its soo weird I didnt even tell the Dr. If i were to rub all over with pressure, certain little patches hurt. Like ive banged those places onto things and i am sore. Fucking nuts I tell ya. I didnt even know that was a thing.  I didnt know that you could feel so shitty like this either.
 Denial. Im beginning to think Ive been in denial about a lot when it comes to MS. Sad to admit it to myself; I don't have a reason to feel so surprised tho other than denial. Im educated, but just not letting myself believe I suppose.

Going to go to work for a bit in the morning, then Im coming home to veg out. I submit mechanics payroll and those guys deserve to get paid correctly. I dont want to pawn that off on anyone else and then have a guy who busted his ass all week to suffer just because Im "ms-ey".

I hope this shit calms down. I need to calm down along with it and relize I cant go balls to the wall allll the time. I need to slow it down. Chill the fuck out. Not live my life in a full on worry/panicked state all the time.

Feb 1 will start off a daily blog that will consist of 1 picture everyday. ive been wanting to do that for quite awhile now. I think itll be kinda cool to look back...and it will be something to occupy my brain...focus on the positive.

How many damn topics can I throw into one post...jeez. ADD at its finest.

Xoxo