Day 4

Well, today I didn't do anything again. Still sucky, still numb, still burdening my loved ones with my inability to do anything but worry and wallow in this awful disease.
I am beyond anxious. Beyond.
 I am convinced I am dying some death from some unknown killer. That something other than ms is doing this to me...
I'm pretty sure that isn't the case,  but...whatev. I'm just horrified that my life has literally been flipped into this awfulness overnight. It's been over a week and I'm just declining I believe. I HAVE to get better. I have to. I have a child who needs his mother to be normal...and not so flippy. So yeah. This blows. This is my nightmare. Living a nightmare.

Here is a picture when things were good.
 A couple weeks ago at the bands shed. This is Nate's bass, in all its glory. It's a beast and heavy as crap! Balancing this work of art on one leg & taking a pic with one hand was a challenge.

I just added this. I went to the bathroom, actually went into the living room & got on my hands & knees praying for this to get better, for this guy...came back into my room & here he is. 

My universe.

Dear Lord let me live a long and happy life with this precious lil man. MS can still exist in me, but please take it down some notches...please. At least give me some time. I'm only 27. Let this show itself wayyy later on in my life if thats the way it should be. please. We've been through toooo much.